Karren frightens Alice

Alice Nielson used to babysit for us when the kids were little, and one night, when Karren was about 2 years old and Stuart a mere infant, we had her over to watch the kids while we went on a date. When we came home, we were surprised to see a car parked in front of the house--Mary & Russell's car. Alice's parents. Uh-oh. What could have happened?

We parked quickly and dashed into the house. Mary and Russell were there, and Alice, crying uncontrollably. And in the midst of this all, Karren, covered with blood. I froze.

But wait. Was that really blood? (long pause) No, it was red nail polish. Blood red nail polish. Karren had slipped away while Alice was looking after the other three, and had found what was probably the only bottle of blood-red nail polish I have ever owned. And, of course, she toddled to the center of the white carpet in our room and poured it all over herself. Which is where Alice found her.

After ascertaining that she had neither eaten it nor gotten it into her eyes, I was able to breath again. Nail polish? Hah! And who cares about the carpet? OK, maybe the carpet was an issue. It had been white when we left, and now was irrepairably streaked with red in the middle of the master bedroom floor. But, we reassured Alice with complete honesty, we knew when we moved into this house that the white carpet wouldn't last long with our three (and, at that time, three-quarters) children. It was only a matter of time before it would have to be replaced with something more durable, like, say, concrete or industrial-grade factory flooring. We eventually compromised with wood and tile, and the kids found their own unique ways to do damage to those as well. But that's another story.