Mail slot

In our Tempe house, the mail dropped through a slot in the wall onto the floor. I grew accustomed to the sound of the slot opening and closing when the mail came. One day the sound was a bit different and I went to investigate. To my horror, a bird had found its way into the mail slot and thus into the house.

I don't know who was more panicked--the bird or me. The bird flew around the public rooms, trying to fly through the glass windows to the trees outside, and becoming more agitated each time the attempt failed. I called David in a panic, somehow certain that he, with his vast experience in life, would know exactly what to do. "Just figure something out!" he said, at work many miles away.

So I opened windows and doors, anything a bird could reasonably be expected to fly through(forget the mail slot), and started encouraging it to go. It's a surprisingly delicate process. You don't want it to settle down in a corner and build a nest, nor do you want it so frightened that it knocks over lamps and leaves feathers (and worse) everywhere. And my efforts were singularly unproductive. After 30 minutes, the bird and I were not even close to understanding one another.

And then, just when I was at the edge of despair, it took a correct turn and flew out the window. I gazed in disbelief. Just like that, it was over. Quickly I closed all the doors and windows in case it changed its mind, and took a deep breath. At last.

And I admit that after that incident, I was a bit paranoid about having the mail slot even the least bit ajar.